Relationship Advices

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Chiropractic Associate University- An eBook for Chiropractors and Associates. Contains all the information Dc Owners need to know, as well as Associates just starting a Business Relationship. Includes checklists, and a basic contract.
How To Create a Successful Chiropractic Associate Relationship

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Whether a relationship lives or dies largely depends on the individuals involved. What is seen to be an insurmountable relationship killer by one person will just be a minor challenge to another.

Take infidelity for example, some relationships survive and even thrive by acknowledging either one or even both partners will seek sexual fulfilment, in part, outside the marriage but as a whole fidelity is paramount for a healthy marriage.

I was listening to the radio the other day when a girl stated that whether her marriage went ahead or not depended on how accurately her fiancée could answer questions about her. I don’t know about you but if I had expected my partner to know all my likes and dislikes before we got married our relationship would have been dead in the water. As it is we wouldn’t have been without each other for the past 20 years.

Marriages have even broken up over one of the partners forgetting a birthday or an anniversary. I must confess that I don’t really want to be reminded of how quickly the years are passing me by and I’m equally prone to over looking special dates as my partner. What is more important to me is how we relate to each other throughout our lives and not just on one or two days of the year.

As you can see, what would totally destroy one marriage is perfectly acceptable in another it just depends on the characteristics of the individuals involved and, in some cases, the timing of events.

• One of the biggest relationship killers is most definitely infidelity. Many people struggle to understand and come to terms with such a betrayal but more importantly, struggle to regain the trust.

• Abuse is something which is tolerated far too often. No one should have to be subjected to any kind of physical, emotional or financial abuse. I only have one bit of advice to someone who is in an abusive relationship, get out, even if the abuse is only occasional. Even occasional abuse is unacceptable and it will only get worse. You can always return if and when they have sorted themselves out but no matter how much you have been promised that it will never happen again it always will unless you take a stand.

• Lack of ability to communicate is a real relationship killer. So many marriages have been thrown away through a lack of understanding and a total inability to communicate. Often all it would take would be for couples to learn how to listen to each other and many perfectly good marriages could be saved.

• Trust is so important in any relationship. If trust doesn’t exist it is very difficult to keep a relationship alive. Infidelity, gambling, drinking, drugs and financial spending are all strong and compelling reasons for not trusting your partner (among many others). A marriage can only usually be saved if the reason for the lack of trust is eliminated and both parties are prepared to forgive and forget. Unless you can let go of the past you cannot look to the future.

• Jealousy can often exist is cases when one partner is still friendly with someone they used to have a relationship with or when a new baby comes along and all ‘couple’ time is eliminated or step parents can be jealous of their partners relationship with their children. Obviously the source of the jealousy can’t always be eliminated, you can sometimes stop seeing previous partners but you can’t exactly throw the baby out the window or banish the step children. Resolving jealousy comes back to communication, discussing and understanding the reasons for the jealousy and jointly devising an action plan to over come it.

• All too often the initial romance of any relationship often clouds people’s judgement when it comes to what both partners want out of life. A simple example is children, how many women get married knowing that they don’t want children or don’t want children any time soon but don’t communicate this to their partner. It is so important to be totally upfront. Other issues sometimes develop when one partner is far more ambitious than the other or just wants different things out of life. Unless your dreams of a perfect marriage are on the same playing field then it’s often a ticket to disaster. Couples need to be totally upfront and honest with each other both before and after marriage to ensure that the dreams and desires of both parties are met and fulfilled.

• Financial issues put a great strain on any relationship. Couples often divorce due to lack of money when all they really need to do is solve the core problem. And statistics obviously show that finance is far more of an issue once you are divorced. I was watching a programme the other day and this couple had survived 15 years living with parents while they saved up for a house. Enough to put a strain on any marriage. However, what I then realised was that they had three children, one of which was probably conceived very early on, and the wife had stayed at home to look after them. This left me thinking, wouldn’t their life have been much easier and wouldn’t that house have come quite early on in the marriage if they had just delayed their plans for a family and both worked for a deposit in those first couple of years. As it happened, their marriage actually survived the 15 years but how many others would have?

• To many it sounds strange, but a lot of married couples feel lonely, especially when their partners work long hours and/or spend periods of time away from home. Sometimes a partner will head to the pub, to the gym or to a mate’s, after work, or I know of many golfers who take a week or even two of their annual holiday to go off golfing without their family. In any relation ship there has to be a balance between work, personnel time and family / couple time.

• Lack of intimacy can often make people feel worthless, unwanted and unloved. Even if sexual relations have diminished or ceased a relationship can still survive through other types of intimacy, a kiss, a cuddle or a caress. Once intimacy ceases in any form partners often feel that they are no longer desired and it is inevitable that people who need an element of intimacy will seek affection else where.

• Many people often say they think their marriage is over when they no longer feel that they are that special person in their partner’s lives. It can become a real big deal when a couple settles down into married life and the romancing comes to an end. No more flowers, romantic diners, endless conversations while you learn all about each other. Perhaps the presents have stopped or less effort is put into making each other happy or children have taken priority. Of course the answer is so much simpler than heading for the divorce courts, just start making an effort and spend more quality time as a couple, bring the good times back. After all that’s just what you’d have to do if you were to start all over and how often to people realise far too late that the grass wasn’t greener.

• The break up of long term marriages can often be as a result of the children leaving home. Couples often have children early on in the marriage from which time their lives totally revolve around the children. Once the children have grown up and left home the parents are no longer comfortable with each others company and just don’t know what to do as a couple. As the children get older it is vital that couples start spending more time together no matter how difficult it is and learn to enjoy each others company without the children.

• Letting yourself go can be a real relationship killer especially if you were really good looking when you got married. If just one partner gets too comfortable in the relationship and feels they no longer need to make an effort it can become a major negative to the future of the marriage.

This is but a short list of reasons why marriages might fail and just because something on the list will destroy one marriage it doesn’t mean to say it will destroy another. Like people, all marriages are unique, the real key to saving your marriage is, understanding what is causing you to feel that your marriage is failing, recognising what action you need to take to put it right and having the determination and the desire to do so.

For almost every possible relationship killer learning how to communicate is critical, if you truly want to save your marriage.

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How can you tell if you are in a spoiled relationship? Here are some clues:

• Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others

• While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.

• Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to “check up” on you.

• Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.

• You have changed things about yourself to please them.

Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them. So, why would anyone end up in a spoiled relationship? Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A spoiled relationship has a cycle. There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins anew.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a spoiled relationship. At that point, it is difficult to get out.

One reason is that many people in spoiled relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they are doing it. And, they may not know any better. Others believe they do not deserve happiness. Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.

But the first step in getting out and staying out of spoiled relationships is to realize that you do have choices. Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself. In most spoiled relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is your entire fault. Once you buy into this, it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of spoiled relationships. Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds. But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you are willing to walk away. If you are not willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you.

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection. Don’t nag the other person. Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.

” If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.

A healthy relationship is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.

Technorati Tags: know, relationship, Relationships, Review, Spoiled

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pAiMUxa2Tc Watch this video from YouTube by chance. It describes differences among after “married 7 days”, “married 7 months” and “married 7 years”. Very funny but impressive video!

A romantic relationship is essential to most marriages. But only a small minority of couples can maintain a romantic relationship after marriage.

Let me give you some advices of how to maintain a romantic relationship after marriage all the time.

Advice 1: Focus on Commonalities

A romantic relationship needs husbands and wives to share emotions, experiences, and beliefs. While happily married coup 0les can rattle off their differences, they will also always make statements about the things they have in common. The more couples focus on these things they have in common, the deeper intimacy is allowed to grow.

Think about the times you have felt the most connected with your spouse. One of the best exercises anyone can do to make their marriage a more romantic relationship is to focus on what you do have, and not on what you wish were different. Remember, it’s not about trying to change your spouse, making him or her think, feel and behave more like you. Instead, try to understand these differences and not pass judgment.

Advice 2: Spend time together

Studies indicate that marital happiness is highly correlated with the amount of time spent together. This means getting to know each other better and spending time together. Plan together and you’ll find that the planning takes time and effort. These shared plans do so much good for a marriage because they acknowledge the importance of your union and give you a sense of future together. Busy couples should actually schedule time together, such as going on lunch dates or turning off the TV at night, to enjoy each other’s company. This way, you are intentionally connecting and showing each other attention and appreciation, factors that are crucial to a romantic relationship.

Advice 3: Give Compliments

Lovers shower compliments upon each other (even when not really necessary) and this actually helps in nurturing your romance. It is very natural for lovers to get busy with daily work, family and home post marriage. But in this hustle bustle, many a times both forget to compliment one another when she is wearing her hair differently or he is looking more handsome on a particular day. So take time out of your work and kids to notice his/her looks and give complements. Not just looks, you can also compliment your partner on his/her work, achievements, etc. This will surely work in re-injecting romance in your marriage.

Advice 4: Be Interested in His/Her Life

It is not really possible to like each and every habit of your spouse. For example, a wife may not really be interested when her partner spends the entire morning cleaning his car. On the other hand, a husband may not really appreciate the reality shows wives like watching on TV. But think again. They are not really that bad. Are they? Moreover if you genuinely sometimes take interest in things that interests your life partner, he or she will really appreciate your gesture and reciprocate.

Last advice: Surprises can be Fun

With the daily tensions, there is more need of romance in your life. Giving your partner little surprises goes a long way in elevating moods and lessening anxieties. Here I give some tips to you:

Tips 1: Unexpected kissing

When was the last time that you surprised your spouse with a kiss? Giving your partner a smooch when he isn’t anticipating it will catch him off guard in a pleasant way.

Tips 2: A Surprised Gift

You can leave cute love messages (or a small gift @^.^@) for one another under the pillow. Watch this video for some gift ideas.

I think making a Sweet Video Slideshow with a Free PowerPoint to Video converter such as Acoolsoft PPT to Video Free is also a good idea. Go and try it yourself!

If you practice these ideas, you will quickly see how you can light the fire of intimacy in your marriage and rekindle your romantic relationship.

Technorati Tags: Advice, After, Couple, good, Maintain, Marriage, relationship, Relationships

Are you married, but wishing your relationship was more like it was before you were married? You are not alone. When a relationship starts out, both men and women are interested in making a good impression, getting a positive response, having a good time, and increasing intimacy. The relationship feels exciting, the lover appears like the perfect match, and the desire to commit to each other is high.

Following the marriage commitment, the very same things that at first made the relationship so exciting are the very same things that fall away. After all, why work on making a good impression if someone has already committed their life to you? For men especially, often the highest level of intimacy they desire (sex) has already been obtained. Why put in even more time talking when there is no greater intimacy to be had and there are other things to do? On top of this, the things that were previously fun activities for the couple become routine (even a rut).

When a child comes along, focus on each other tends to turn to focus on the child. Although this as first renews sharing and adds vitality, it later increases the routine, decreases available time and energy, and increases stress. For this reason, couples are encouraged not to have children until their relationship is stable and strong.

Becoming roommates rather than husband and wife is usually a gradual process of gradually increasing emotional distance. Once this distance reaches a level that is uncomfortable for both the husband and the wife, there is a crisis. Depending on the way the crisis is managed, the couple continue to be roommates, have increasing conflict until breaking up, or redefine their marriage to allow for a positive change.

Redefining or renewing a relationship is the process of moving closer together. There are three components to creating a healthy relationship:

1. CHANGING VISIONS–Either the husband, wife, or both need to clearly discover what kind of relationship they want to have. So many couples become embroiled in trying to fix the problems, that they never really stop to consider what they want. A counselors will often use this problem focused approach that at best can get people back to where they were before. A relationship coach, on the other hand, will use the technique of creating a vision. Visions, desires, and goals, pull us toward them in a positive and exciting way. This makes for the possibility of an entirely new type of relationship to replace the old.

2. CHANGING BELIEFS–One of the most debilitating beliefs is that one’s partner must change before the relationship can improve. The fact is that one person must make the first move and that person can be either partner. It is not necessary to have a simultaneous start up. For example, a person who is unhappy in their marriage may find that by changing their job or starting a new hobby, they become happier with more of a zest for life. This, in turn, can make them more attractive to their partner. Misery loves company and when one person refuses to be miserable and makes positive life changes, the other partner is often pulled in that direction without any kind of coercion.

3. CHANGING STRATEGIES–People do what they know how to do. This means that they try to use the same strategies as in the past, but this time hoping to achieve different results. Even when couples put 100% of their effort into reviving their marriage by returning to what worked in the past, they will more than likely end up in the very same place. Trying harder to achieve different results using the same methods does not work. The number one strategy for creating a better relationship is getting help and support from someone who knows how to do that. It the person you see in the mirror has not had success in the area you want to improve, do you really want to put all your trust in his/her methods? If someone wants to quit smoking, which do you think would be better–hoping that you will develop the urge to quit smoking, trying to quit alone, buying a stop smoking self-help book, or committing to meeting regularly with an expert in smoking cessation? What would be the best strategy for achieving a healthy relationship?

An exercise that you can do now to begin changing your vision is to get a piece of paper and a pen. Write at the top of the paper, “My Dream Relationship.” Pretend you are not married. Imagine your fairy godmother grants you the wish of the man or woman of your dreams. Write down what that person is like physically and emotionally. What will you do with that person? Where will you go? Where will you live? What will your daily life with that person be like? The interesting thing about this exercise is that when husbands and wives who are emotionally distant do this exercise separately, they actually come up with many of the same ideas for their dream partner. When couples are distant, it is not usually because they want different things, but because they don’t know how to get what they want. Working on these areas of common desire with new and effective methods will bring new spark into the relationship and create the potential for more lasting, positive change.

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